Updated: May 20
Good evening ponderers,
Ever find yourself in a conflictual cycle in a relationship or marriage that has gotten all the way out of control? Well, if not I’m about to tell you that unless you’re at peace with war; one that you (possibly both parties) will lose- I say that because there will probably consistent activators if the conflict is not resolved. Stay tuned on how to stay clear in a life full of static, gloom and dark clouds.
An activator in this context is something or someone that validates or clarifies your conflicting feelings towards your partner. For me, peers serve as activators, seeing a married couple accomplishing things that I’ve had envisioned for my family’s life
for years and seemingly only the time has changed on the issue. Nothing more, not one ounce of progress, at least not from my own vantage point. Over time this feels like a stagnated cycle- best compared to a hamster on a wheel running, stopping, looking around and seeing the same exact environment for years, sometimes unknowingly running because the repetition feels like micro progressions, small talks, small victories, bur no movement because of stagnation. Hurtful part is that once you’ve exhausted yourself and realize that you have n’t accomplished much, you want an acknowledgement from your partner. Someone with the willingness to say, I waited too long, we didn’t communicate well on this, lets fix it. If you’re not getting that, you might’ve missed your threshold. Depends on the type of individuals that are involved. Perhaps, if you’re willing to put in the work and listen- you can break the insidious cycle and move forward. Or maybe not. Im here to encourage you to break the cycle- even if it means to remove yourself. I promise, you will be ok.