Updated: May 20
Good evening ponderers!!
It’s no secret that I’m going through loss and pain.
I have no problem with letting people know
that about me. I don’t care what y’all think about my response towards my feelings because they are VALID. I’ve had all types of different feelings about several things and I stayed quiet for many years. The purpose for speaking on this is because I’d like to encourage others. Waste of time is the worst feeling- we all do waste time in some sort of way at some point in life... HOWEVER ~~~~~
When you share your time with your life partner, it usually is understood that it’s never a “waste” you’re either growing your funds to purchase something for your family, spending time together and building your relationship to make it strong, or simply being family- Which in my book is never a waste. I have really remarkable daughters that make my heart full, it’s like drinking a cold glass of water on a hot summer day— I need it.
Now the feeling of waste comes in when you believe- and I mean genuinely believe that someone has heard and understood you. You move forward with blind trust because you have to have the trust… how could you do this without the trust? It only makes sense to express your interests- how the heck would someone know if you don’t? This is only NORMAL.
Do you know that some marriages exist without this standard? Some people are so wrapped up in whatever they’re dealing with that they neglect and do it so much that they have lost track of the time. Losing track of time is wasteful.
I promise I remember myself on my 21st birthday, I remember what time I woke up, what I was wearing, what music I was listening to and what I was thinking, “I have to do better for my daughter“. I was also concerned because the day was gloomy, in my twenties the weather on my birthday was concerning for me. Lol. Now here it is and I’m saying goodbye to my thirties!!! Time flies- make the best of it. So cliche’- but the validity of it really will set the tone of your entire life. I say this to say that if you have the heart to trust a husband or a wife, which you should, (no need for marriage if not) make sure they are trustworthy~ make sure they understand the value of time~make sure they understand the sanctity of the vows~ make sure they are honest~ MAKE SURE that there is an agreement in goal attainment~make sure they are accountable~make sure you consider their upbringing~~~ if not, you will be gravely disappointed.
My darling, I’m here to tell you that if you don’t know that in this moment you are the youngest that you’ll be for the rest of your life. I say that with urgency…
Just take a moment and think about that.
Who the hell wants to waste their youth based on lies and false truth? Do you?
The anger that one feels when one discovers the truth and it is in total opposition of what you were told for many, many years… My God, it is bone rattling.
How do you address this with eloquence? How do you swallow the hard pill and move on? How do you explain the loss to your children? Drop answers in the email if you know.
Goal of this post is to have you avoid an experience similar to this. If the math is not mathing, it’s because you’re dealing with the wrong number. Change it early. Forgiveness is honorable because you do it for you and for the other person- in order to move on. You may need to get out, early.
We all are flawed and could use work on several things that we think we’re GOOD at!
If you’re not getting your worth out of a marriage- GTFOI.
Remember, pain is temporary, life and death are here to stay. Don’t waste your time.